Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Monday, April 03, 2006

Clan of the Kumquat

The kumquat just returned from a foraging jaunt to "Partial Produce." While she was there, she noticed little containers of her brethren attractively stacked next to the strawberries and kiwi berries. (The kumquat had never seen these things before, but they're so cute! They look just like bitty bald kiwis-- which, uh, the kumquat supposes they are, so, umm, nevermind.)

The kumquat is always tempted by her botanical brethren. The ones from stores never seem to reach the lovely sweet/sour pinnacles acheived by their less domesticated cousins. But every year, the kumquat has to take a container home. She thinks maybe she's an optimist. Or delusional. Such a fine line, really...

Today was the day that was apparently chosen by the kumquat gods as the day for this annual ritual. Maybe the kumquat succumbed because they looked like they needed a home. Maybe it was because they looked so pretty, those little glowy orange ovoids. But it was probably just because they were on sale.

When the kumquat got them home, she noticed they had a lable on their little plastic transport container proclaiming them to be "Fancy Kumquats." The kumquat is not sure what she would require of her kind in order to call them fancy, but these kumquats did not seem to posess any stellar qualities. Just the normal amounts of cuteness, orangeness, and ovoidness.

"Fancy" denotes to the kumquat something unusual and noticable. Now, if the kumquats had been painted with designs or embellished with rhinestones or dressed in little kumquat-sized evening-wear complete with top hats and canes for some and pearls and stoles for the others, then the kumquat would have no trouble agreeing with their classification as "fancy." She even would have bought them at full price.

Because, really, who wouldn't buy a kumquat in a top hat?


At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell!! A dancing ku7mquat are you crqazy yoiu NEED to get a life im serious before you have permanent damage!!!!

At 9:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The geometric jello has already indulged in the sticks and berries of the kiwi. yum.
As for the other anonymous commenter, I think they need a spell checker / grammar checker / education more than you need a life.

At 1:54 AM, Blogger Miss Kumquat said...

The kumquat agrees with Mr. Jello's Tangentals about the spelling and grammar check. She would also reccommend a dictionary or other reference tome so that certain terms such as "facetious" and "tongue-in-cheek" could be pondered.

The kumquat herself is pondering deleting the comment, because, while it is rather amusing, it does sort of sully the landscape.

(However, she finds it enormously amusing that someone is spending his or her valuable time telling her she is crazy. She already knew that.)

At 10:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How dare the tangelo insinuate such things about the kiwi!
-- the kiwi

At 4:29 PM, Anonymous the apricot said...

"She thinks maybe she's an optimist. Or delusional. Such a fine line, really..."

Methinks she's a cannibal.


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