Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Yesterday, the kumquat went to indulge her coffee-sluttiness at her favorite caffeine provider, uh, "Beet's" Coffee. While she was waiting for the coffee boy (not an very good representative of the species, it must be said) to make her drink she was people watching (defined as staring into space until something vaguely interesting enters her field of vision).

There was a couple standing in line who caught her interest-- mostly because the girl half of the couple had on a kind of cute outfit. Next she noticed that the male half of the couple was very, uh, tactile with the girl half. And that the girl half kind of look like she was kind of tempted to run away, but was too bored to really make the effort.

Now the girl was quite nice looking. At least, she was pretty and had a cute outfit-- the kumquat is sometimes rather baffled by the straight male's opinion of what makes a girl attractive. But this girl was nice looking-- and young, probably mid-20s to early 30s.

As her readers might be guessing by now, the male half was decidedly not young. To be fair (which is really no fun at all), the male half was well-kept. He had nice-ish clothes and wasn't sloppy or scruffy.

Now the kumquat has always hated the concept of being "in" or "out" of someone's "league." (The kumquat gets very cranky when someone tried to define themselves or others so narrowly. This phrase is just one example, but she shall now take the one foot off of her soapbox and continue with her inconsequential fluffiness.) Therefore, this rant is not about the incompatibility of a couple based on looks or age.

The incompatibility that the kumquat wants to rant about is the one of interest. The woman looked decidedly bored, and the man acted as if he would shrivel up like a salted snail if he weren't actively pawing her. If they were both pawing each other, it would be annoying because the kumquat doesn't exactly want her latte to come with a side of soft-core porn. But at least they'd both be into it.

As it was, it seemed as if the man wanted to show how great he was because this girl who was way cuter than him allowed him to touch her in public. Except, instead of the guy appearing studly (which is, the kumquat is sure, how he envisions others perceiving him), he just seemed dense (while she may, for some unfathomable reason, like you, she's not comfortable with coffee and groping) and pathetic (exactly how much are you paying her?)

The kumquat could be wrong, she just figures that this wasn't the impression he was going for...


At 6:22 PM, Blogger junebee said...

She's just in it for the $$.

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Adam Lasnik said...

For the record, I didn't actually PAY her. I, uh, bought her a REALLY expensive coffee.

"Beet's" ain't cheap, you know!


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