Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Idiot

The kumquat realizes that, even though her blog title references dancing, she rarely, if ever, pontificates on dancing in her posts. And today will not be an exception.

The kumquat will vent her spleen about various idiots she's encountered in the past few days. (She wonders why spleen, like wet paint, always seems to require ventilation. Why does her pancreas not also require adequate air flow? The kumquat's life is plagued with such mysteries.)

Produce who were raised in a barn
It's cold. There's a door. It is closed when you approach it from the COLD outside. It is warmer on the inside of the door. The kumquat is a fruit that doesn't like antarctic climes. CLOSE THE @#($(#&%$#(#$ DOOR!!!
Ahem.
Um, so the kumquat does not appreciate people who enter her museum and don't close the door behind them.

Produce with no patience and no logic
There is traffic. Lots of it. The car next to the kumquat is going about 35mph. The kumquat is going 32mph, and is approaching a red light. Running up so that you are almost in the kumquat's trunk, swerving angrily around her and then running up until you are almost in the tunk of the car ahead of you is going to get you at most one car length ahead...
The kumquat is in awe of your, um, "intelligence."

Old men who think they know what they're doing and won't get the #(@#$& out of the way when they're screwing up machinery that doesn't belong to them because apparently there's no way in hell that a young female kumquat knows how to work anything mechanical even though she fixes these things on an almost daily basis
Uh, pardon the kumquat.
She believes this one is rather self explanatory.

*Sigh*

The kumquat thinks she shall cease with the venting for a while. She's getting all worked up. And not in the good way.

1 Comments:

At 6:23 PM, Blogger junebee said...

Hilarious, as always.

We have those clueless produce driving in FL also. In FL, most of the produce use-by date is WAAAYY past and they drive REAL slow...

And here in FL we have just the opposite problem in the door department. It is HOT outside and nice and cool INSIDE, so --- CLOSE THAT *)$@ DOOR!

 

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