Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Kolrabe Kwestions

The other "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" version of the kumquatblog was submitted by the Kolrabe. So without much ado about anything, here goes:

(Actually, a there will be a little more ado, if the kumquat's beneficent readers will permit-- the kumquat will attempt to answer the questions in a mostly unbratty way, but she gives no guarantee that this will last even through the first question.)
(Oh. One more ado. The questions are in purple. And are followed by question marks. Fancy that.)

Do vegans count sheep... or tofu blocks?

As far as the kumquat knows, insomniatic produce count sheep in order to effect sleepiness, not in order to eat them. Therefore, as long as vegans believe in the existence of sheep, she sees no reason why they can't use them to induce somnolence. If, however, the convention was to count chickens, the kumquat fears that the tangello would have to rely on something else since he doesn't believe in chickens. The kumquat thinks he has some issues with tofu as well.

Why do so many people get puke-drunk repeatedly? Did they kill the brain cells that regulate sensible behavior?

While the kumquat does not claim to be a paragon of sensible behavior, she will be sensible enough to not even try to explain this one.

Why do lots of women go ga ga over hot cars?

Mmm... gorgeous cars! *drool* *sigh* *lust*
Pardon the kumquat.
What was the question?

What's the worst fashion mistake you've ever seen?

Does the kolrabe mean someone other than Backwards Man?

Why is "top 40 music" so damn awful?

Because most people are non-believers' tofu blocks.

If you could spend a day with any talking animal, where would you meet?

Oh, probably at a coffee shop. The kumquat is a coffee slut.

What's the worst musical of all time?

Does the kumquat have to pick just one Sondheim show?

Can studly guys still wear pink?

If one of his stable's colors is pink and he's racing that day, the kumquat thinks he should.

What's with your fascinaton with fruits?

A treatise on the origin of produce will be covered in a future entry. The kumquat is doing this not really because of any sense of drama, but because it is almost time for her to leave work.....


At 9:01 PM, Blogger Adam Lasnik said...

And the spam comments above (which, I presume will be deleted in a bit but oh well) raise another question:

What is the most appropriate punishment for blog comment spammers?
- Forced to spend the rest of their lives tethered to (and forced to use exclusively) a Radio Shack TRS-80 (1985) computer with no Internet access. Or -- even worse! -- any computer using only AOL for Internet access.
- 99 dates in a row with Orin Scrivello DDS.
- Forced to watch a Fun Pack DVD set of Glitter, Battlefield Earth, and Best of Barney for 40 days and 40 nights
- Other?

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Miss Kumquat said...

Ooh. The kumquat likes the last one. 'Cept it should last longer than 30 days.

At 1:59 PM, Blogger Miss Kumquat said...

The kumquat's can't type. She meant 40 days. Her office is very cold and her fingers are little popsicles.

At 2:01 PM, Blogger Miss Kumquat said...

The kumquat is also appostrophe happy, apparently. She shall also blame this on cold fingers and if there are typos in this comment she will not bother to correct them. So there.

At 4:49 PM, Anonymous The Apricot said...

Members of both genders go ga ga over hot cars. Particularly those who have experienced the aged carburetor -- clogged fuel filter -- faulty spark plug combination that might plague a car of 1982 vintage.

Yes, that person might be especially inclined to lust over a charcoal colored Viper GTS-R. The old 2002 design though, not the new ugly one.

Of course that person would not love his or her little blue-plated, squirrel-powered, 0-60 in 5 minutes vehicle any less even though his or her eyes may occasionally wander.


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