Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Holy Mackerel

The kumquat's laziness actually paid off!

So far the tangel(l)o and the kolrabe have contributed suggestions. Ah, the kumquat appreciates not having to actually be creative and, like, think. Perish the thought. (Look! Look! The kumquat made a pun wasn't that just so, umm... Nevermind)

The kumquat simply must start with the tangel(l)o's suggestion, since it was, by far, the most disturbing. The kumquat expects nothing less from the jello tangent.

However, having brought the blogversation around to this, um, implement, the kumquat isn't quite sure what to say about it. (Although when she types "about it" the kumquat often misplaces the space and has to correct herself so she doesn't write "abou tit"-- she wonders if that's some sort of medical condition. "Miss Smith, the signs you have been noticing lately are definitely symptoms of abou tit.")

Uh, yeah. Back to the pizzacutterfork. It's scary. Oh, the kumquat tells a lie. Apparently, it's not just for pizza-- it can be used for waffles and pancakes too. Oh! The possibilities. Pardon the kumquat, she feels a swoon coming on.

Actually, this reminds the kumquat of some of the highly specific doohickies that Victorian-types invented: "Everywhere in the West specialized utensils proliferate, more in response to the Victorian fondness for bric-a-brac than to any real need. Tomato servers, sardine forks, jelly knives, and cheese scoops are among the many elaborations on the theme." (from this site)

The only, piddling difference is that the Victoriania stuff is made for formal dinners, not for food that arrives in a cardboard box. And the Victorian stuff tends to be pretty. Or at least prettier than this.

The piece-de-resistance of this implement is that it is touted as a "time saver." A time saver.

The kumquat finds this utterly believable because, after all, she has often been eating pizza that is too hot or soggy to actually pick up and thought that it was just lovely, but what would really make it perfect is if she didn't have to waste so much time using that damned knife and fork.

Really, she could be using that precious time to watch NASCAR. And burp the alphabet.


At 7:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

speaking of burping the alphabet, back to the abou tit condition... even more interesting if you consider the fact that abou means father in arab(ic?)... a la

At 4:40 PM, Blogger Miss Kumquat said...

Father Tit? Is that like the pervert's version of Father Christmas?

Mr. Jello's tangent is very informative.


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