Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Kiwi (loose)

The kumquat is really not sure what to think. (Of course, she realizes that the loquat's advice would be "Don't.")

It seems that Whole Foods has taken to passing judgment on her friend's moral character. How else can one explain the sign the kumquat saw in their produce department proclaiming "Kiwi (loose)"? The kumquat does not take kindly to having her friend's morality bandied about in the produce section of a major food retailer.

Of course, it could just be that those kiwi were loose, and it is not intended as a slight to the kiwi. This of course begs the question of why Whole Foods is willing to act as a produce pimp, accepting payment in exchange for allowing their customers a few hours lascivious pleasure with morally questionable fruit. The kumquat shudders to think what the other produce are up to...

Blame Harry

The kumquat's two weekend absence from Bloggyland is due to Ms. Rowling's Mr. Potter. After one and one half weeks (which spanned the two blogless weekends) and six books, the kumquat is back.

Blame or congratulate Ms. Rowling as you will.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Kumquat Infiltration*

The kumquat takes advantage of those "First Three Issues FREE!" offers from trashy magazines. It actually works out nicely, she gets her trashy magazine fix without actually having to spend more than the cost of a stamp to send in the cancellation doohickey at the end of the three months.

The above strategy is responsible for this current tidbit. The kumquat is in the process of receiving some issues of Elle magazine. Elle magazine has an advice column. The columnist tends to address her advice-seekers with cutsey terms. This month, she referred to someone as "[Advice-seeker], my kumquat."

The kumquat is now not only a citrus who dances. She is a term of endearment.

*The original title that was considered for this post was a variation of "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers": "The Invasion of the Kumquat Snatchers." However, upon consideration, that seemed a little too suggestive, even for the kumquat.