Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, August 28, 2005

There Was a Kumquat from Nantucket...

The kumquat has discovered this site and she is really rather taken with it. So much so, in fact, that she has added it to her "Links" (aka "Time Wasters") area on her blog's sidebar.

The kiwi has even submitted some entries!

While she is on the subject, the kumquat would also like to share this very cute limerick from Mark Twain. It isn't even dirty! Well, it is "dirty", it just isn't ribald.

A man hired by John Smith and Co.
Loudly declared that he’d tho.
Men that he saw
Dumping dirt near his door
The drivers, therefore, didn’t do.

*If her readers are having issues with it, pronounce the abbreviations as if they were full words, following the same rules as for the first abbreviation.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Name-Dropping

The pomegranate has added a link to the kumquat's blog on her blog! Yay! Thank you to the pomegranate!

The kiwi has a very cute new resident at her house (which of course adds to the total cuteness of the house which contains the fluff monster, the queen, and the kiwi). And she is very literary, as mentioned or alluded to in previous posts. The kiwi, not the resident.

The apricot bought the kumquat coffee the other night and the kumquat appreciates this. Caffeine is definitely a way to the kumquat's heart.

The banana is... The banana. He bought a science fiction book and tried to explain how a series of lots of books wasn't actually a series but a group of trilogies and quartets. The kumquat isn't sure she believed him.

The lime went with the kumquat to see The Aristocrats last night.

The as-yet-unnamed produce from NYC is coming to visit next week.

And... the kumquat will soon be on her way to meet and frolic with the loquat and the tangello and the tangello's mother's new fluffball with teeth.

Blogger culpa

The kumquat apologizes for the odd asterisks on the previous post. But it's not her fault-- really! She had to put them there to trick Blogger into actually leaving space between the sections. Blogger's space recognition capabilities are sucking like the produce known as Ed.

Poem-try

The kumquat seems to be on a literary binge lately. While out with the apricot and The banana (capitalization by request of The banana), she bought two books of poetry (or poem-try{pronounced "po-em-tree"}, as she occasionally calls it when the mood strikes her). She bought a book of T. S. Eliot and of William Carlos Williams. This is not of any particular significance, she just thought she'd share.

Today, the kumquat has a treat in store for her dear readers.
Today, her readers will experience some of the greatest artistic works known to produce.
Today, she shall present the magnetic poetry of the kiwi.

This one is definitely a kiwi composition (note the Edward Lear influence):

[a][lust][y][fiddle]
[and][a][frantic][peach]
[lather][ed][friend][s][were][they]
[in][a][mother][ship]
[by][the][water][y][sea]
[in][a][petal][bed][did][I][a][y]
[boil][me][the][place]
[and][chant][in][the][rose]
[worship][ful][ly][blow][it][away]
*****
This next selection may or may not be a kiwi composition (does the kiwi remember?):
*****
[diamond][sweat]
[a][thousand][delirious][urge][s]
[put][you][er][head][on][my][breast]
[ache][mad][ly][after][fluff]
[a][purple][forest][woman]
[languid][ly][dress]
[incubate][ing][a][dream]
*****
And finally, a couple of unknown or undisclosed origin:
*****
[to][eat][you]
[felt][as][from][raw]
[always][produce][apparatus]
[think][an][moan]
*****
[drunk][from][spring][garden][moment]
[wanting][my][bare][honey][gown]
[I][stare][at][luscious][man][vision]
[sordid][sweet][shadow][of][him]
[screaming][red][picture]
[of][bitter][repulsive][crush][on][the][boy]
*****
Today's literary interlude brought to you by the kiwi, the kumquat and the letter "Q."

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The Kumquat Gets Literary

Some lovely Shakespearean insults, courtesy of the kiwi:

"Thou idol of idiot-worshippers!"

"He has not so much brain as earwax"*


*Response to this from the newly-christened loquat: "That could work for so many men"

Change of Circumstance

Henceforth, the produce formerly known as tangerine will go by a new name.

Loquat.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Kumquat Has Arrived

She is now getting spam comments on her blog.

*Sniffle*

Please pardon the kumquat. This is such a big moment for her. She's getting a little teary-eyed.

Ummm.....

The kumquat was at work the other day when the phone rang. As is her wont, she answered it. (The kumquat will now pause to consider what exactly a "wont" is... Apparently she has one, though.)

In her normal kumquat (well, as normal as the kumquat can ever get) manner she trilled, "Museum of Produce Provenance, this is Miss Kumquat." To which the caller responded "Uh, may I speak to Miss Kumquat?"

Is it so wrong that the kumquat wanted to say "No!" and hang up?

Sunday, August 14, 2005

The Kumquat Took Manhattan

Oh yes, she did.

With the help of the tangello.

But she's not going to write about it yet.

Yes, the kumquat is a tease. Or a procrastinator. Take your pick.

Critters!

The tangello seems to be guilting the kumquat into posting more regularly. Well, maybe "inspiring" more than "guilting." Maybe.

The kumquat has taken on a few house-sitting clients in order to get her critter fix and to earn a little extra money to support her dancing and coffee habits. It's rather a nice thing: it reminds her that even though she adores critters, she really don't have time to actually have one of her own; it lets her play with and cuddle critters whose food she does not have to buy and whose vet bills she does not have to pay; it is really pretty easy, as second jobs go-- rather a nice way to earn a little extra money.

Okay, the kumquat kind of forgot where she was going with this. She was intending to tell all about the critters and give them random aliases. But now she has commenced to bore herself. It is not that the critters are boring, it is more that she sat for them last night and is too tired to pretend to be clever.

Ooh-- here's a tired kumquat story that most of her four readers have already heard. (Lookit that! The kumquat's readership has increased!) The other night (Thursday) the kumquat (Miss Kumquat) was going to go dancing (in the City), but she (who is fond of parenthetical expressions) decided she was too tired. She got home about 9:30ish and decided to get a snack before she went to bed. The kumquat found some cherry tomatoes in the refrigerator and decided to have some of those and a glass of milk. Yummy. She washed the tomatoes and put them in a bowl. Then she got a glass and put it on the counter next to the bowl of tomatoes. Then she got the milk out of the refrigerator. Then she poured some milk... in the bowl of tomatoes. Then she decided it was a good thing that she didn't go to the City.