Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, April 25, 2004

What is a Kumquat?

or Everything you always wanted to know about kumquats, but were afraid to ask

The kumquat has found a site which claims to answer this question.

The kumquat isn't sure if this site encompasses all that is kumquat, but there are a few choice phrases which amuse her, be they accurate or not. (The kumquat will allow her readers to guess at the veracity of each statement.)

First of all, the kumquat did not realize that she has an alias. Apparently, she is also known by the name "kinkan." She supposes that an alias might come in handy sometimes... Not that the kumquat is plotting anything illegal. She's sweet and innocent. Really.

The kumquat also had an alternate spelling, or at least, she used to. She was watching W.C. Fields' "It's a Gift" the other day and a man asked for 10 pounds of kumquats, but spelled it "c-u-m-q-u-a-t-s." As if this citrus' nomenclature wasn't suggestive enough already...

The aforementioned site offers advice on identifying kumquats:
"These fruits are extremely juicy and tasty and usually have a sweet outer skin accompanied by a tart, inner flesh."

It also suggests qualities to look for in kumquats:
"When purchasing kumquat fruits, make sure that the fruit is firm to your touch and that it does not have any bruises on it."
(Note: If the kumquat's friends start poking her to ascertain firmness, they will find that they are the ones with bruises.)

This comment offers all sorts of helpful advice, including what kind of climate is preferred by kumquats:
"If you are looking to grow a plant that can serve as both a decorative object and a food source, and you live in a warm climate, you may want to consider the kumquat."

Ahem, no comment:
"While the most common use for the kumquat fruit is to eat it whole..."