Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Friday, February 13, 2004

We Are Amused

The kumquat is easily amused. She considers this quite a fortunate trait. She feels that this makes her life so much more entertaining than the lives of those jaded people that she's always hearing about. ("...about which she is always hearing." The kumquat is not feeling that grammatical today.)

The kumquat tends to collect things that amuse her: comics, anecdotes, newspaper stories, friends. Today, she is feeling benevolent and will be sharing some of these things with you, her dear readers. (She assumes that there are more than one of you. Imaginary friends and voices in people's heads should count, right?)

Things that Amuse the Kumquat

* The Palo Alto Daily New Police Blotter (especially the "Atherton" section): Examples of the awful crime problem in Atherton include: a report of mail theft at their neighbor's house (the culprit was found to be the son of the "victim"-- he was taking mail into the house), a report of a suspicious vehicle (the vehicle turned out to be legally parked, the resident who reported it then requested that the police tow it because it was "junky."), another report of a suspicious vehicle (the "suspicious" occupant of the vehicle was a man who was taking a nap in his car "to get some time away from his kids.")

* A newspaper headline reading "Bush Plans Mars Trip." This of course begs the question: "When's he going?!?!?"

* In honor (?) of Valentine's Day, two of the kumquat's favorite love quotes:
"Mother, Godfrey loves me, he put me in the shower!"
"If he gets some clothes on, he'll go away, and he's the only man I've ever loved!"
(The kumquat will bestow many accolades, and maybe even chocolate, on anyone who can name the sources.)

* The fact that when the kumquat drove home last night, two of the cars in the Ford dealership showroom had their alarms going off. She laughed for at least five blocks about that one.

* Okay this one is a little annoying, but funny too. The kumquat is wearing her San Francisco charm bracelet today, and the charms keep getting caught in her fishnets when she fiddles with her shoe. There's something kind of funny about the Golden Gate Bridge or a cable car getting stuck in your fishnets. Actually, it's more interesting when Coit Tower gets in your fishnets-- the kumquat's mind enjoys the gutter very much...

* The large (~14" tall) rubber duck with a sailor hat that lives in the museum gift shop. He's really cute. Cuter than the one with the rain hat.

* The kumquat's dashboard hula man.

* The fact that he is now wearing a sheriff's badge.

* Her shoes. The pair that was partially bought with the tangerine's b'day gift certificate to the kumquat. The tangerine's contribution was the left one. The kumquat isn't really sure whether she's amused by them, but she really likes them.

* The fact that the kumquat detests smoking, but she thinks that some old smoking paraphernalia is exceedingly spiffy.

* Anthropomorphism. The kumquat just received an email failure notice and was informed in said notice that a certain email address "does not like recipient."