Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat

Following the saga of the little citrus with terpsichorean tendencies

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Advertising Offensive to Kumquats

Last night on the way home, the kumquat heard something that offended her sensibilities. A radio advertisement.

Normally, she finds these things annoying. Their level of annoyance can vary from "mild" to "stupid @$$^%#* thing." She has never actually found them offensive.

Of course, before last night, she had never heard a commercial that was a slight to all kumquats.

It was an auto insurance commercial. Geico, to be specific. The kumquat is not sure whether she is spelling the company name correctly or not, but she does not feel that this company is worth even the minimal effort it would take to find the correct spelling.

The kumquat has never liked these commercials. She thinks they are stupid and lacking much in the way of wit. The kumquat esteems wit.

This commercial followed the same general format as others of this ill-conceived genre. People saying that they have good news, and the good news being that they save money on car insurance. This particular example of idiocy in advertising concerned a fictional beauty pageant. A voice tells someone that it has good news. The someone turns out to be a female with a very backwoods-y voice who seems to think that she won this pageant. The original voice answers that no, she didn't win, but he just saved a bundle of money on car insurance...

Stupid, yes. But the kumquat's readers may not know why she was offended. She was offended because the fictional beauty title that this idiot is coveting is the title of "MISS KUMQUAT"!!!

The kumquat believes that her species is not well served by being represented in such a derogatory way.

Maybe she'll take action.

How does "Citrus Defense League" sound?